MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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