You can't motorboat a personality
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
