The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
His hands were made for my vagina.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Randomize
