what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
