Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
