The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Randomize
