woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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