A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
