I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
one might say we're banned from that church
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
