And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
