i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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