Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
