my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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