I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
