Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
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