We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
