very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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