I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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