go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I wish there were birth control emojis
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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