yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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