Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
whose ass print is on the piano?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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