And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
