He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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