Cold hands, warm shart.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize