i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
