You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
