I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I'm jealous of your bromance
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Randomize
