i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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