one word: firstdatebathroomanal
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
