It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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