I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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