Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
