She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
