Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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