I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
