then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
