Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
