I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
he thought i was a dude.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
