If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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