ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
