In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Randomize
