So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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