Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
