I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
