I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
