So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
