i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
