Hey man sorry I got all grabby
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
