let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
