this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
