If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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