I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
